Lost…

I am so lost, its unture, On Sunday I had the most strange day I think I have ever had.

I went out with friends, feeling “charged” but nothing comes to a surprise anymore to me, in the evening I had to let a balloon go, with around 200 people, for my friend who lost his fight to bipolar, and is no longer with us.

I think this has hit me hard, harder than I thought it would ever would, I tried to kill myself Sunday night, with all of my sleeping tablets, but I woke up in a hospital bed and a drip in my arm, now I am lost and feel so ashamed, I just want to hide.. I never want to look at myself again, even more so when my friend is no longer with us.

I truly am, lost without reason.

One thought on “Lost…

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