The Stigma is so strong…

I am just going to put this out there, as I feel so upset by it.

I have Bipolar disorder, I struggle with this every day, in my past, I have some pretty amazing jobs, so being a professional I get to know what things are like as a “duty of care” and wanting to help those people that need it the most.

My C.V is something I have quite proud of, for example being on 25, and being Bipolar and having no education at school due to being in the hospital all the time, I manage to get back on track when I was 18 again, did my exams, then on A-levels and then a degree.

This gave me jobs such as being a family therapist for the YMCA, being an Assistant Mental Health Force worker on a mental health ward, being the 3rd person in charge of the ward, to being a Mental Health ACT manager and sitting on the board for people being under section (something I know well) and also recently teaching kids/young people that have been kicked out off school for their mental health or their behaviour, also being a youth/drug worker.

During this time I have been a professional while being a service user, something that doesn’t mix well. I have had to quit all my jobs due to my Bipolar turning nasty again.

I wanted help but got refused it as I keep getting told I am an “expert” in my own health, I was in manic, I was very ill and needed the help, no one came to my aid.

I had a meeting today with a mental health nurse, to talk about how I can cope without having secondary care supporting me, so I went to a charity, only to be told, I am too “complicated” or “very hard to treat”. I am not an awkward patient, I just wanted help, but as I have had these jobs, and been part of the service they state I don’t need it, its something I can do at home.. but I cant, really am struggling with so many things right now. After having the meeting with the charity, I was then told by quite an open and out-spoken professional that after reading through your notes, it looks like that no one wants to be responsible for all the changes and your mood swinging.

So I left, again being let down, I have no support other than my own expertise, something that I cant always rely on due to being so ill. stigma is everywhere, the charity and my GPs, said they cant help me as Bipolar is hard to treat and you will always be up & down, instead of reassurance from these people I got told I will be ill forever and that it, I have to deal with it.

Also after being told this, I looked into health insurance so I don’t have to wait for the NHS and always go through my GP, but even the insurance said, sorry we cant cover Bipolar due to it being “chronic” meaning I will never get better, the man actually said to me, who won’t get cover from most insurers as they think you will be making a lot of claims.

Again let down by everyone, Bipolar is the most misunderstood mental illness, even the so called professionals don’t like treating it, and the worst part of all this… even the mental health & GPs, people that are in this type of work to help mental health fighters, they are the ones who are the most judgemental, and the stigma is so strong around us all.

 

If we cant rely on the professionals that are supposed to help us when in need, who else can or will?

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